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Why Kindness and Confidence Matter in Leadership: A Letter from Lindsay Tjepkema

Written by Pavilion | Sep 12, 2025 12:00:00 PM

This letter from Lindsay Tjepkema is part of Pavilion’s International Women’s Day 2025 collection, where the women of Pavilion share heartfelt letters to their younger selves. Through these reflections, they explore the lessons, challenges, and defining moments that have shaped their careers. Read more inspiring stories here.

Dear Younger Lindsay,

Where do I even begin? You are so much bigger, brighter, and more brilliant than you realize. The world has taught you to believe that these qualities should be hidden, downplayed, or made smaller. That your strengths should be softened so others feel more comfortable around you. That your ambition should be something you apologize for.

Don’t believe it.

The world will try to convince you that it’s your responsibility to accommodate, cover for, and excuse the shortcomings, immaturity, and even bad behavior of others. It’s not. And you do not have to accept it.

Never apologize for being smart, visionary, creative, or talented. Don’t believe the lie that your creativity, relationships, and instincts don’t matter in business. Your success will prove otherwise.

Throughout your life, there will be people who feel threatened by you, who will try to use you for their own advancement. They will gossip about you and tell lies about you. They will try to make others believe the stories they tell about you.

Let them.

Will it hurt? Absolutely. Every time.

But you know what will hurt more? Wasting your time and talent trying to change them, save them, or win them over. The naysayers will never change. But never forget that there are so many people who do believe in you, who want to see you succeed, and who want to build something extraordinary with you. That’s where you must focus your time, energy, and attention. You’ll be so much healthier and happier for it.

Most importantly, don’t believe the lie that you need to become someone else to be successful. You don’t need to dim your light or reshape your strengths to fit into someone else’s mold. The world needs YOU—bold, audacious, and unfiltered. Other women, other creatives, other parents, and other kind and ambitious people need to see you as an example of what success can look like when you refuse to conform. And your three beautiful and amazing boys need to see you boldly be yourself, too. Be that example for them.

Create great things with great people. Be kind and helpful - it really does matter. Be discerning about who you partner with. Trust yourself—you already know what to do. Stop seeking so much outside advice; your instincts are more powerful than you think.

Don’t try so hard to please others. This life is yours. Live it for yourself, not for anyone else.

You are exactly who you are supposed to be. You are enough.

With so much love,
Grown-up Lindsay

The Women of Pavilion Community is a dynamic subcommunity of Pavilion dedicated to fostering belonging, knowledge-sharing, and professional growth for women in go-to-market. Led by Anne Pao, Founder and CEO of Ignite Consulting, and Lindsay Tjepkema, Founder and CEO of Human Brands Win, this group empowers members to break barriers, advocate for themselves authentically, and advance both personally and professionally through curated content, exclusive events, and a supportive network.

Curious to learn more? Explore Pavilion membership.