Ask Amanda is an advice column for you to anonymously submit questions about the soft skills and hard topics you need to master as a go-to-market leader.
Amanda,
Have you heard “feedback is a gift?”
Last week, my boss gave me feedback. The points made were good. However, the delivery was sharp and, honestly, painful. We had a meeting the next day, and I said, “The points made yesterday were valid; however, the delivery was sharp. Are we okay?” My boss wouldn’t engage and only reiterated the points. What should I think of the conversation?
Signed,
Feedback
Dear Feedback,
There are two sides to this coin. Let’s talk about your boss's side first.
People management is not necessarily a skill that many companies invest in. Therefore, managers are doing the best they can with the communication, conflict resolution, and presentation skills that they have learned at the time of the conversation. It helps to realize that your boss may not be the best at soft skills and is most likely doing the best they can with the tools they have at the time.
Now, let’s talk about your side of the coin.
Did you take it personally? As hard as it might be, try not to take it personally. Put your emotions aside and ask yourself, “Am I coachable?” Humility is a great soft skill. Being coachable is a great soft skill. None of us are perfect, and having someone who is invested in making you better is a gift. Try to reframe your thinking. Your boss offered you feedback to make you a stronger player. You now have an opportunity to become this stronger player, allowing you to deliver more value, better serve the larger company, and be a better professional overall. I empathize with you, but don’t let your hurt feelings hinder your long-term growth and success.
Amanda regrets she cannot reply to questions individually. By submitting your questions to Ask Amanda, you agree to have them published anonymously on Pavilion’s Blog.